I liked the fact that the story is typed because that makes it easy to read all the words. A long time ago, someone very wise advised me to learn to type properly. I did a special course to learn to type using all my fingers. This has turned out to be very good advice because a writer needs to be able to type quickly.
Even if you don't want to be a writer, learning to type using all your fingers is great for computer work.
I really enjoyed reading Jack Weir's story. It made me want to read on to find out what happens next. I think that's one of the important features of good stories, they make you wonder what will happen next so you want to read on and turn the pages.
The story has a good structure - a beginning, a middle, and an end. The beginning and end are shorter than the middle.
I also liked the fact that Jack has used line spaces between blocks of text to show when there is a new paragraph.
Jack had found some great pictures to illustrate his story and chosen the places in the text that he wanted to put the pictures.
I also think Jack has used adjectives and adverbs very well. If you don't know what those words mean, ask your teacher or another person who might know. Or you could try to find out what the words adjective and adverb mean by yourself.
I wondered what the story should be called, in other words, what should the title be? Because Jack used the word 'mystery' at the very beginning of the story, just before he found the 'egg' (the object or thing that the story is mainly about), I thought 'The Mysterious Egg' would be a good title. Of course, it's Jack Weir's story and he should be the one to give it the proper title; but that one will do for me for now until I hear from Jack.
If you have a story, letter, or picture you'd like to send me, you can email it to: firstname.lastname@example.org
Or, you can post things to:
Jack Trelawny's Story House
2 Lea Valley House
Stoney Bridge Drive
Essex EN9 3LY
See you next time in the Story House.
Happy writing... and reading!
Free Audio chapters: Listen FREE to first 12 Chapters of Kernowland 1 The Crystal Pool read by actor, Tom Solomon
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Other related websites: www.jacktrelawny.com www.jacktrelawny.co.uk www.kernowland.com www.erthwurld.com